Sunday, October 26, 2008

Crazy Thoughts

The other day I was sitting in the coffee shop, enjoying a latte and knitting. A woman was sitting two tables down, she had a bunch of whole fruit in front of her, which was kind of odd. She was quietly talking and talking. The man next to her said "what?" It took him a minute to realize she wasn't really talking to him, just rambling, and not in English.

After a few minutes he got up and left. I have to admit I did focus on my knitting since I was the next closest target. She did keep looking at me and talking, but the words didn't make sense. She did same to the woman on the other side of me. She kind of smiled and went back to typing on her laptop.

Is there really that big of a difference between someone who just says everything that comes to mind and the rest of us? I have a constant dialog going on in my mind. Well, maybe not a dialog, but thoughts that are in the form of words. And the woman at the keyboard certainly had a stream of thoughts coming out. The only difference is that we kept ours quiet, while the woman couldn't seem to do that.

As I packed up the crazy lady looked right at me and pointed at my knitting. I have no idea what she was saying so I just smiled.

When I was sitting in church yesterday I was kept having the fear that I was going to say something out loud that I was thinking. Something like, "wow, I like that turquoise jewelry", or "I wish I could wear hats". Or something less kind. And I remembered that I often had this fear, sitting in church or other places where someone was speaking and I was alone with my thoughts, trying to focus, but failing. Does that make me crazy, too?

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